Tuesday, January 08, 2008

College Football & Global Warming

I think the time has come to finally accept Global Warming and admit that Mr. Gore is right. The mighty Northern Buckeye, who for several years now has won its primeval duel with the small but ferocious furry animal from the upper hand, has now succumbed twice to warmer climate foes.

We can now conclusively say that Buckeyes cannot live in the environment of the Bayou Tiger or the Gator. In fact, the ecosystems that support these species appears to be growing and reaching north as global warming impacts These two species and their cousins, the Mizzou Tigers, the Longhorns, the Jay Hawks, and the Horned Frogs all moved north on the Crimson Tide which was helped by sensitive Volunteers in the cleanup of Northern carbon waste.

Could it be that the mighty of the north are becoming endangered species??? Oh my! This could be trouble but alas there is hope!!!!

Two species of the north seem to be adapting (one of Darwin's greatest contributions to environmentalism). The Gator was thinking his range was going to overtake all lands north, but the Wolverine is not yet giving up its territory a lesson that the Gator now has sorely learned. The Ducks continue to prove that they are small and mighty and can change with changing times.

While Sooners dry out and fade in the heat of the global warming sun, there is no place in this world for Trojans as they are not recyclable. Even the Sun Devils who should be enjoying the rise in temperatures were reduced to Bovine delights.

"Now, whats that? ... excuse me... SWAT".... So as the temperatures rise, get some good chemicals and spray away to remove all bumble bees as they are just pests.

So, the 2007 conclusion is that Global Warming is real and we must take heart that as the seas rise like our coming carbon footprint taxes, and California now requires an FM chip in your thermostat so the power company can monitor and LIMIT the temperature range of your home (yes they can reach in and control it!), we must align with Mr. Gore and worry (that means we all can eat more and not really do anything about it as shown by his personal demonstration of massive power consumption in his home and his suit size).

Probably an Aussie from down under will come and save us all (if they beat the Blacks) unless of course he is defeated by the Celtic anomaly of the North who comes cloaked in a new disguise as oilfield trash. And yes, we do always come back to the origin of all things environmentally wasteful, the petroleum industry, oilfield trash originally comes from where? ..... the home of the Bayou Tigers... Cajun Land.

In parting, before we loose one of our most valued species, can someone please have a biologist or someone who drives a taxi tell me what a Buckeye really is?

Welcome to 2008, Mr. Gore says a warm year is coming.